I have never been afraid to be naked
not in front of lovers
my family
anyone
all this is just skin
there is my ribcage prudent as ever
and my hip bones
and my kneecaps
all just existing
a vessel in which this longing resides
my body is me and I don't mind baring myself to the world
my hands skim over myself
not in awe but in acceptance
however, when you see me naked
I curl in on myself
I change in front of you sheepish and shy
your eyes linger everywhere
as if you want to bruise me like air does to a peach
not violent but with a reverence I do not understand
it's just skin just my body
I'm not afraid of it or how you will treat me
but I'm afraid, no terrified you will see something I don't
something that could be beautiful
worth touching for long amounts of time
I never wear enough clothes or layers
I sleep naked
but around you I want to wear clothes
because you touch my skin in a way that lets me exist in your arms
imprinting nothing just admiring
your eyes are as hot as an iron
searing into me, I think you must see a god
something to have faith in that does not exist
what else could it be?
again, this is just me
just my shoulder blades and tattered elbows and sharp collar bones
these things I have traced over all my life suddenly feel alien when you are watching me
because I know you see what I do not
you tell me to sleep in nothing as I would do when alone, you know I feel more comfortable
like that
know the shift in my muscles
the tense in my scalp
you know and have seen me in lights and shadows I don’t understand myself
I sit naked and feel my bones knocking against each other; an awkward chime
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